A Good Wife

I loved being a wife.

Loved it.

I loved cooking, grocery shopping, doing laundry and keeping a clean house.
O.k. I did NOT like dusting.

Taking care of someone, to me, is like taking care of yourself.
It made me so happy.

I was honest, loyal, caring and supportive.
I made sure that you kept your bank account and I kept mine with a joint one for bills.
I didn’t want us arguing about money. And we never did.

I prided myself for never being out of anything. From toilet paper to milk in the fridge, we were always well stocked. Your clothes were always clean and put away. Hung the way you liked.

If you lost something I knew exactly where to find it.

I didn’t make you go to baby showers with me. I treated you like a man. I encouraged you to go golfing and fishing with your friends. Sometimes I would set up the play dates myself for you.

When people would meet me for the first time they would say “THAT’S your wife?”
Frumpy, boring and plain were never used to describe me.

I was spontaneous, adventurous and funny.
I always tried to keep our marriage fresh and interesting.

I packed your favorite snacks when we went to the movies.
I packed your lunches for work. Always with a sweet treat tucked inside.

I gave the best hugs.

Was I perfect? No. Is anybody?                                                                                                                                                                              Would it have mattered if I was?

I was a good wife.
I am not a wife anymore.

Love Don’t Live Here Anymore

Two weeks and one day after the divorce he found someone online and started dating.
Two weeks and one day?
He said he was lonely.
I couldn’t breath.

Everything started to spiral out of control again.

Then the truth came out.

It wasn’t work that you hated.
It was me.
You had been mad at me for 6 out of the 7 years we were married.

You gave your reasons for being so enraged with me. I just sat there with my mouth open.
What do you mean that 6 out of 7 years you harbored ill feelings towards me?
Starting out small and letting it fester to the point that anger dominated all emotions you had for me.
But never telling me. Letting me believe it was all work related.

You knew 6 years ago that you wanted out?

And yet you stayed, waiting for what?
Laying next to me each night holding my hand.
Watching me spin in circles trying to make you happy. So we could be happy.
Sacrificing my own happiness for yours.
Believing you when you said it wasn’t me.

I had no reason to doubt you. And even when I questioned it you assured me I was incorrect.

And now you tell me you single-handedly sabotaged our relationship?
That you purposely didn’t tell me what was going on because you didn’t want me to fix it?
Is that why you didn’t want to try, because you knew all along you were going to divorce me?

So all of it was a lie?
How am I suppose to swallow that?
You have already taken away so much from me and now you’ve taken my memories too?

It is so hard to believe that love don’t live here anymore…
and apparently hasn’t for a very long time.